Friends & Future

Chan Puan Sawadee Ka! (Hello My Friends!)

 

It's been a busy month here at JT! We have had massive ebbs and flows in guests, and I got to travel to Cambodia to see my best friend. In the words of my favorite band, "The days turn into to months the months into years, so just for a moment, let's be still." Being here is a constant flux between running and stillness. One week the place will be full of life, babies wailing and their little feet pattering all over the grounds, transports coming and going, loading and unloading. Even when my body is still, my mind is always churning, thinking about the next arriving guests or scheduling some getaway for a family. Always thinking about my next steps in life and who I will spend my time with. "Let's be still."

 

I am beginning to understand how quickly life flies by when you have put a time limit on its seasons. I committed to six months at the JT, and it's half over. I literally cannot believe it. I also can't imagine leaving in three months. So, in the next week, I will be having conversations with our resident director about my future here. If you think about it, pray for my heart and emotions in this decision. I'm not really worried about it at all, but it can't hurt to pray for the right commitment. I'm not sure if they will need a hard date for my leaving or if I can just jet off whenever, either way, pray!

 

Like I mentioned earlier, I got to see my best friend from university this past week in her residence in Cambodia. All I could do to describe the trip upon return was to say, "It was good for my soul." It was truly a soul trip. Everything about it was water to my soul. Thanks, God!

 

The next four months here are crazy! We have five conferences here in November, and December until February are completely booked! I am taking these next few days to breathe and prepare myself for the excitement and busyness of this next season.

 

"Let's Be Still."

You Weigh HOW Much?!??

Another cultural extravaganza unfolded this morning and, boy, was it a doozy!

Last night, while searching the kitchen for extra towels to clean up a water spill in one of the conference rooms, I stumbled across a scale--not for vegetables, but for humans. I made the mistake(?!) of stepping on it, after having not weighed myself since arriving in Thailand. It read out in kilograms, and having no idea how to convert to pounds, I locked the kitchen and headed to the office to finish working. Sitting down at my computer, I googled "xx kg to lbs." Y'ALL. I got the biggest "OMG Summer Face" possible and immediately squealed to my coworker Mark, who was in the office, "MARK!!!!! I have gained sooo much weight in this country!!!!" Mark laughed hysterically and continued to tell me that, in fact, the scale is usually 5 KG off--lighter, not heavier. I told him that it was not physically possible that I gained THAT much weight in two months. He gave me a snarky grin and I immediately put my head in my hands and squealed again. I decided that it wasn't a mistake. I needed to know at some point, that yes, Summer, eating a double serving of dessert every night, sitting in an office all day, and plowing through Nutella, will indeed put some L-B-S on the Y-O-U. Awesome.

Now, before you start going through my Facebook pictures to compare the Summer from two months ago to the Summer now or think "What a ethnocentric post!" or think I'm looking for a sympathic "Summer, you're gorgeous" comment below this link, I am coming to a point and it is none of the above. I am an American girl in her 20s. I think about weight. However, being in Thailand, changes my thinking. Weight has different cultural capital over here. Not that Thai people don't care about image, that's far from the truth, but MY thinking about beauty and image in better/worse value judgments really diminishes when I'm over here. I tend to let my American walls of beauty and image and size and cultural pressure to wear xx size of pants crumble. I have touched a mascara tube twice since being in Thailand. That is beautiful. Now, I'm not trying to make generalizations, or place a right/wrong value on caring about image or not. At the end of the day, I believe that Adam and Eve ended up caring a lot about their nakedness and without combating this fear every morning I wake up with the Truth that God is ridiculously smitten by me, so will I.

This morning, I decided that the scale was obviously mistaken and it is better to weigh oneself in the morning anyways, so while the kitchen staff was busy serving 91 people for breakfast, I snuck in and jumped on the scale. While I was waiting for the numbers to settle, I felt one of the staff grab my arm and squeal "oooohooooooo XX KG!!!!!!!!!" to the entire kitchen. I was mortified and most likely a deep shade of red. One of the girls came over and grabbed my arm while I shouted at girl number one in Thai "Get over here and you weigh yourself!" (Gosh! I'm a terrible person.) She came over and being 5-foot nothing and tiny, she has no scruples about jumping on the scale. Then, girl number two jumped on and it began a game?!? A terrible, sick non-American game. Their attitudes went from surprised, playful, accepting (as in, that is what she is, not deeming it socially acceptable), and back to work in the matter of a minute. Why do I feel like my attitude will take a little more prayer and processing then theirs?

After this little ordeal, now that most of the staff heard the squealing, knows my weight, and thus, I am accountable come time for dessert, I must choose not to believe the lies that I am less ______ than I could/should be and choose the Truth. Jesus is infatuated with who He is and so am I. He is everything. So here's to a little more movement in my life, a little less Nutella (fo' real only a little less...that stuff is the bomb!), and lots of loving the women around me more than I did yesterday. Insecurity doesn't just stop when you reach a number on the scale. It stops when He says "You're ridiculously good looking. Insecurity, say what?!?" Or something to that end...

Love Thy Neighbor

At the JT, you have lots of neighbors. Guest neighbors. Puppy neighbors. Food cart neighbors. Gecko neighbors. Mommy and baby neighbors.

My immediate neighbors are always changing, and I'm learning to embrace this change. Sitting on my balcony this afternoon reading "Praying in Color," I noticed my next door neighbor also reading on her balcony while her family watched TV. We didn't say anything to the other, but it was nice knowing that I had company. After being in the community industry for a while now (Resident Assistant, Ice Cream Server, Hostel Volunteer), it is quite noticeable when there is no community. September has been a pretty slow month for the JT, but things are picking up once again, and I am getting new neighbors, new community. My joy is increasing.

One neighbor in particular has increased my joy tremendously. When she first arrived here, I was overwhelmed by her personality. She comes from a culture I am not familiar with and a story unlike my own. She is a community junkie. Since my neighborhood had been pretty lean on community lately, I really had a slow time adjusting to this push for community. I prayed for my heart to be opened to her and for God's love to be manifested in our time together. Since then, I have heard how she met her husband, what dishes her daughter likes to cook, the compliments her dad gives her, how God healed her of breast cancer, and how she converted to Christianity from Hinduism. She also is "a strong daughter of the living God," as she would say. "Praise God," "my sister," and "my God is alive!" are some of the phrases constantly surrounding this woman. She believes in Jesus Christ and is not afraid to let people know. While on "vacation" here, she has witnessed to a local massage hut owner and connected her with a Thai church. I repeat, she does not live here and is on "vacation." She is a force to be reckoned with, one that makes me ask myself "What the heck kind of faith do I have?!" She leaves tomorrow, and I am genuinely going to miss her smile around my neighborhood.

Thanks be to God for showing himself to us through the differences in others. Thanks be to God for the community he puts around us at any given time, constantly changing, inviting us to join in.


[Y'all. I posted this the first time and as I hit publish, the lady came into the office saying the massage worker she witnessed to accepted Christ. She has been invited to share Jesus at a dinner full of Thai people tonight on our beach. I am going with. WHAT?!??]

10 Thai Words You Should Know and Why

With all of these Thai lessons, I felt the need to share some of the goodness with y'all. Maybe if I know that other people are learning the language, it will motivate me a little more. Ha!


1. Bai! [pronounced: bye] (Go!)

• Essential to scare away stray dogs off your property. Used best when powerfully shouting while clapping your hands in front of you and running wildly at the dog.

2. Suay [pronounced: soo-why] (beautiful)

• Said to me by the Thai staff every time I dress up for church on Sunday. Said casually in passing. I like this culture.

3. Mamwan Suk [pronounced:mom-won sook] (ripe mango...like the kind we have in the USofA but much better)

• the juiciest of fruit that practically dissolves in my mouth, to which I get super excited when it is brought out at lunch and all the staff joke about there not being enough for me and I must go without. never. I am also told by our Indian/Bangla guests that theirs is much better. i'll need to investigate first-hand.

4. Khao Niao [pronounced: cow nee-ow] (sticky rice)

• the perfect partner to the above "mamwan suk" Seriously, I just about cry when they are separate. Can put a smile on my face just about anytime of day.

5. Mai Ow [pronounced: my ow] (I don't want it.)

• To be used almost every time you visit a public beach in a tourist city as Thai vendors approach you every five seconds to by a T-shirt that reads "Starbuks" (yes, misspelled) or American flag pajama pants.

6. Phet [pronounced: pet] (spicy)

• Accompanied most often with the word "mai" (meaning no or not) when spoken by Westerners. It is crucial in ordering food in Thailand, especially being white.

7. Farang [pronounced: fuh-rong, roll the tongue on the R] (white foreigner)

• probably the word I hear most often while in Thailand, especially when travelling in non-tourist villages/cities. Not derogatory.

8. Array Na? [pronounced: uh-rye nah, roll the tongue on the R] (what? or excuse me?)

• I use this phrase the most on a daily basis. I am learning Thai, but Thai speakers still talk way too quickly for me to understand, so I use this little helper and they repeat what they said.

9. Chop Ma [pronounced: chaawp mah] (I like it a lot!)

• The staff usually asks me if I like things 100 times a day: their country, their cooking, their dress, etc. and this is my answer most of the time! unless it's fried wasp larvae, then I reply "mai chop" with a disgusted face meaning "I don't like it!"

10. Sawadee! [pronounced: suh-wah-dee] (Hello!)

• MUST be said we the biggest smile ever and a slight bowing, really a nod, of the head. Girls, go ahead and add a "Kaa [pronounced: kah]" onto the end of this one to make it polite. Boys, tack on a "Khrap [pronounced: crop, with a slight tongue roll on the R]" Girls and boys, go ahead and tack these on to pretty much anything you say in Thai to make it come off super polite.

This lesson was brought on by me waving my hands around in the air, shouting, and loudly running down our driveway to get our neighbor's dog off our property an hour ago. So thank the dog, and you're welcome for the linguistic knowledge you have gained and can impress that special someone with at your next mutual international function.

Sawadee Kaa! (also used for "goodbye")

Stuck on Hospitality

Yesterday I took the car into the city and had a full day of just walking around. I wound through the alleys and the streets and the side streets. I passed the street vendors waiting for customers, women chatting on street steps, foreigners with their huge backpacks and large maps unfolded in their faces, and the rows and rows of motorbikes lining the curbs. I felt home.

The beaches in Hua Hin during September are rather bare. Everyone is tucked away in their own resort pools or cabanas. So, when I tried to sneak into the Hilton to use their pool, I was convicted, mainly by the large stares I received by the employees. Before I even could reach for my sunscreen, I was high tailing it to the public beach, past the security guards and Hilton workers. For the first time, I felt really on the outside of the hospitality "inner circle." The circle seems smaller when you don't have access to it. It seems grander and overflowing with privilege and delight.

Then the funniest thing happened, I got really bitter at the Hilton. I was laying on a large rock in a cove under the side shadows of this large hotel monstrosity and I felt bitterness and disgust rise up in me. It was really strong and I can still taste it in my mouth. I found myself trying to prove why I was better than these people staying in this hotel who were not really tasting true Thai culture. I visited the international supermarket later the day and found disgust again at all the ex-pat families buying lunch meat and Goldfish in bulk. I glared at them, like they were in the wrong. The hilarity of the whole day was that I walked away with bread products, Nutella, jam, and peanut butter. I was hypocrisy in all its false glory.

So last night when I got back to the Juniper Tree I had a long thought about why I felt so disgusted with these people or this corporation that I thought stood for everything but cultural immersion. The anthropologist and the hotelier in me were waging war on each other and I was stuck. I was stuck on hospitality. I was stuck in my love for it. I couldn't think anything bad about it, even though my outrage flared as I laid in the shadows of the very large concrete "man." My failed past of working in a large hotel looming on the front of my brain with my guttural need to create a space for people to feel rest, delight in their surrounding culture, and feel the presence of the Lord courting them in all His intimacy and truth, trying to take its place. Even as I'm typing this, it's hard for me not to get emotional. I am ultimately confronting my pride. It's large and in charge when it comes to this topic. My calling is at stake. God has given me this dream to start a hospitality venue filled with good food (a bakery no doubt), lots of community movie watching, loud praise and worship nights, and truly personal accommodations. How can I do this if I'm judging other industries trying to give people rest, too? How can I hear God if I'm sinking in the sand of my past?

I haven't gotten really far in the thought process, but I have repented for trying to sneak into a space I was not given access to and then disliking those that make the rules. I think I'm most scared of admitting that something in this field is not giving me pleasure. I had a similar feeling when I wrote a paper debunking the "most magical place on Earth" in college. It was like drowning my pet or something.

This is probably really silly to read for most of you. There is just so much of my heart tied up in this encounter: my failure, my pride, my passion, my fear. And it's just sitting in front of me. And God is whispering "Give it to me, darling." So I will.

Tidbits

In the past week I have...

Said goodbye to Frida.

• Ate Banoffee pie.
• Hugs and more hugs.
• Joked about getting a tattoo. It seems like the thing to do when abroad.

Said goodbye to Katina/Curtis.

• "Watched" some movies.
• Be warned that Katina would talk at meals about things you should not talk about at meals. Heard Katina talk about such things.
• Hugs and more hugs.
• Contemplated visiting them and working in their café.

Went to All Nations International Church at the Hilton Hua Hin.

• WHATTTT!!???
• God is so good and this was a full confirmation of why I moved here and why I love the global church.
• Connected with multiple people at the church and am hoping to get connected in outreach ministry.
• Was encouraged to begin programs at the Juniper Tree such as worship night/parent night out/jazzercise class. More to come...

Been sick with a cold/allergies.

• Spent over a day in my room resting/sleeping.
• Got cabin-fever to the extreme.
• Went on a walk down the beach for an hour to relieve cabin fever and ended up playing with an enormous dead jellyfish. It was awesome.
• Drank over 6 liters of water. Mr. Langenbahn's theory on headaches proved to be wrong in this case.
• Almost finished "Love Does" by Bob Goff and highly recommend. If I could write a book, it would be just like this one.
• Had a breakdown and a buildup. God's love for me is amazing and I have begun to realize the isolation of this season to be a beautiful opportunity to become more intimate with God than I ever have been.

I'm pretty sure I had some good belly laughs and some cries this week. Thanks be to God for sustaining and healing me.

Muay Thai, 50 Baht, and Driving in Thailand

So, a lot has happened and, really, life has just happened. But, there are a few stories that I wish to share with y'all.

Story #1: My introduction to muay thai fighting occurred a few days ago from a man by the name of Ning Nong (he made sure we didn't call him Ding Dong). This man has become a friend (? sort've) ever since Frida (friend who stayed at the Juniper Tree for almost three weeks) and I visited his coconut bar. His restaurant is really just his home's patio, but it is so well groomed with thatch-roofed tables, hammocks, hand-shaped bonsai trees and stepping stones over seashells instead of gravel. We rode our bikes about 30 minutes down our rode until we turned on a dirt road and headed to his home. As we drew near to his house, he met us at the entryway and immediately welcomed us in broken English. He brought a fan out to keep the mosquitoes off of us. However, within a minute, we found out he had not retrieved any coconuts that day, the real reason we had ventured to his restaurant. We had already eaten dinner, but despite our refusals, he sliced open some dragon fruit for us to eat. After getting the full tour of his grounds, including his herb garden, his fish pond, and his simple, outdoor kitchen, we told him we would be back when we were hungry and he walked us out to the road.

Four days later, when we didn't have scheduled dinner at the Juniper Tree, we returned to Ning Nong's place for dinner. As we rode our bikes up his dirt road, he could see us coming and ran to the entryway of his patio. Once again we were welcomed with drinks (this time he had coconuts), a simple menu, and a lot of smiles. We ate fresh squid he barbecued on the grill, an American-style salad, fried rice with chicken, and more dragon fruit. During the meal, he and his son sat at our table and began chatting with us about how his wife has left him four years prior and how he had built his entire house by hand. We found out he was a muay thai teacher, and thus began, my training. Before he began teaching me how to kick people, two times he had said I was too full to begin practice by looking at my stomach. After the second time, I assured him my belly was not going anywhere and we could begin now. "You have no six pack! You have no six pack!" The lesson was quick and utterly embarrassing. It wasn't just that there was a major language barrier, there was a cultural barrier that involved "Am I allow to kick this man and let him kick me?!? Should he be putting me in a headlock?!" The whole time I was laughing out loud at the audacity of the whole thing and Frida caught this on tape. After the lesson, he insisted that we stay until the moon was high in the sky because the shells on his ground would shine white bright and it would be beautiful, which it was.

Finally, we began to leave and as we are pulling out, he jumps on the back of Frida's bicycle. I am about 20m ahead and hysterically laughing and trying to see what is going on behind me. When we reach the main road he jumps off and shouts "Bye Bye! Safety First." Frida and I ride alone down the main road back to the Juniper Tree with the moon lighting up the entire way. The sea on our left, the mountains on our right. It was amazing! Then, as we start to near the part of our bay with the commercial resorts, we notice a headlight behind us that is slowing down. Then suddenly, I hear a growl/shout and Ning Nong appears in the darkness behind us creeping up on the back of my bicycle. I almost fell over! He slowly rides with us for awhile before peeling off and returning home. Let's just say I will not be returning for more muay thai lessons by myself!

Story #2: Sunday nights at the Juniper Tree are super chill. The place is practically deserted. No dinner is served, so everyone goes out to eat. Frida and I wanted to eat at our favorite place in our bay, Dao's (that was the name of the old cook and also the only word in English on the sign). As we begin walking down the main road, it starts to trickle, then rain, then pour, and we start running. After about 200m, we realize there is no way we were going to make it to Dao's, so we stop at Chomtalay, a nicer sit-down open-aired restaurant for dinner. [Side note: We passed a really elegant Thai wedding reception that was being rained out. It was so sad because all the guests were huddled in a resort courtyard looking out at what was going to be a beautiful dinner under the stars. Point: Always rent a tent if you are going to have an outdoor dinner in Thailand during rainy season. Point: On our way home, we saw all the servers conveyor-belting food from the beach to the new setting under the resort's covered courtyard. Everyone was wet, cramped, eating, and very happy. Back to my story...] Chomtalay is packed because everyone wants out of the rain. Our server comes maybe 15 minutes after we have been seated to take our drink order. We eventually order, eat, and when it comes time to pay, a different server brings over our check. She then waits for me to get my money out, slip the bills into the folder, and let her get my change. When I slip my one bill into the folder, she opens it and begins to turn to walk away, then stops. She looks at me and says something in Thai that I don't understand, but I reply with something to the effect of "Isn't 500 baht enough?" I wait until she says something in Thai again and I reply again with "500 baht?" She is getting frustrated/embarrassed, so she goes off to find another server that can speak a little more English. While she is gone, I turn to Frida and say "Does she want a tip?!" When the girl returns, her friend opens the folder and shows me the bill I have inserted in it. It is 50 baht. Basically, I gave her less than $2 for both Frida and I's drinks, dessert, and entrees, instead of the $17 I thought I gave. In my defense, the 50 baht bill is blue and the 500 is blue-purple, but still, it was a very embarrassing moment for me. Frida and I, and most of the servers, and even some other patrons were laughing hysterically at my mistake. I apologized profusely to the girl and we left promptly.

See, this is the thing about living in a small, tourist beach town: it's not that big and word travels. Also, there are only so many restaurants to eat at. So, about five days later, Frida and I are returned from Ning Nong's house (the above story) and decide we want dessert. We stop at Chomtalay and the same girl seats us! I hear her whisper to another server in Thai "ha sip baht", which means 50 baht, and I immediately start laughing as I sit down. I tell Frida what she said and then we both laugh. When she comes back to take our order, I apologize again and all the servers start laughing. Needless to say, I have become the "50-baht girl" to some of Dolphin Bay.

Story #3: When I first came over to Dolphin Bay, I had really no idea that we would be as isolated from civilization as we are. It's about 20 minutes to the grocery store and an hour to a mall. While that might not sound super terrible to most of the world who lives even further from civilization or doesn't enjoy civilization, to me, it is far. The roads to get to such places are country roads, with dogs, and children, and potholes filling them. It's the country, so when it gets dark, it gets really dark.

I brought an international driving permit with me, thinking I would never use it. However, to my shock, I have to drive to get anywhere, either by car or motorbike. My first time on a motorbike was terrifying. Going with Frida, queen of adventure, didn't help. But, by the 5th or 6th kilometer, I was getting the hang of it. (I am still terrible at turning and think I'm going to die every time. If you have ever witnessed me ride a bike, you understand.) Driving a car, on the other hand, is easier for me. It didn't take really anytime at all to learn to drive on the opposite side of the road and on the opposite side of the car. Well, I didn't really have time to piddle around when I was thrust in the driver's seat my first week in Thailand. The hardest part of driving on the "highway", a one lane road leading to the big city, is passing other cars/motorbikes/pedestrians/dogs/mobile food carts/anything else that moves and decides the highway is a good place to light. One must pass these things about every kilometer of driving and I just don't have the Thai gumption yet. I do it, cause I have to, but it is definitely not second nature to me.

Frida and I finally drove the hour to the big city and when I went to pull into the parking garage to park at the mall, I was following a motorbike. Not seeing the sign that read "Motorbikes Keep Left", I followed it past the guard gate. A woman was shouting at me in Thai for a while as I sped by the ticket station and Frida was shouting at me "Summer! You just passed right through the ticket station!!" Oops. So, I went all the way around to the exit, made two U-turns on the highway and entered again. Let's just say the Thai lady didn't give me the most "welcome to Thailand, I'm so glad you are here" face.

Filling up for gas is fun too, when you can't speak the language. They fill it up and you just tell them how much you want to pay. Sounds easy enough until some 14-year old starts overfilling your tank and spilling gasoline all over the ground until it makes a puddle and a large hole in my wallet .


All of these stories are fun things that I can look back on and laugh, a lot. They remind me that I am not Thai. I am a foreigner, and I am really thankful to be in such a forgiving environment with such joyful people. Until the next time I make a fool of myself...