You Weigh HOW Much?!??

Another cultural extravaganza unfolded this morning and, boy, was it a doozy!

Last night, while searching the kitchen for extra towels to clean up a water spill in one of the conference rooms, I stumbled across a scale--not for vegetables, but for humans. I made the mistake(?!) of stepping on it, after having not weighed myself since arriving in Thailand. It read out in kilograms, and having no idea how to convert to pounds, I locked the kitchen and headed to the office to finish working. Sitting down at my computer, I googled "xx kg to lbs." Y'ALL. I got the biggest "OMG Summer Face" possible and immediately squealed to my coworker Mark, who was in the office, "MARK!!!!! I have gained sooo much weight in this country!!!!" Mark laughed hysterically and continued to tell me that, in fact, the scale is usually 5 KG off--lighter, not heavier. I told him that it was not physically possible that I gained THAT much weight in two months. He gave me a snarky grin and I immediately put my head in my hands and squealed again. I decided that it wasn't a mistake. I needed to know at some point, that yes, Summer, eating a double serving of dessert every night, sitting in an office all day, and plowing through Nutella, will indeed put some L-B-S on the Y-O-U. Awesome.

Now, before you start going through my Facebook pictures to compare the Summer from two months ago to the Summer now or think "What a ethnocentric post!" or think I'm looking for a sympathic "Summer, you're gorgeous" comment below this link, I am coming to a point and it is none of the above. I am an American girl in her 20s. I think about weight. However, being in Thailand, changes my thinking. Weight has different cultural capital over here. Not that Thai people don't care about image, that's far from the truth, but MY thinking about beauty and image in better/worse value judgments really diminishes when I'm over here. I tend to let my American walls of beauty and image and size and cultural pressure to wear xx size of pants crumble. I have touched a mascara tube twice since being in Thailand. That is beautiful. Now, I'm not trying to make generalizations, or place a right/wrong value on caring about image or not. At the end of the day, I believe that Adam and Eve ended up caring a lot about their nakedness and without combating this fear every morning I wake up with the Truth that God is ridiculously smitten by me, so will I.

This morning, I decided that the scale was obviously mistaken and it is better to weigh oneself in the morning anyways, so while the kitchen staff was busy serving 91 people for breakfast, I snuck in and jumped on the scale. While I was waiting for the numbers to settle, I felt one of the staff grab my arm and squeal "oooohooooooo XX KG!!!!!!!!!" to the entire kitchen. I was mortified and most likely a deep shade of red. One of the girls came over and grabbed my arm while I shouted at girl number one in Thai "Get over here and you weigh yourself!" (Gosh! I'm a terrible person.) She came over and being 5-foot nothing and tiny, she has no scruples about jumping on the scale. Then, girl number two jumped on and it began a game?!? A terrible, sick non-American game. Their attitudes went from surprised, playful, accepting (as in, that is what she is, not deeming it socially acceptable), and back to work in the matter of a minute. Why do I feel like my attitude will take a little more prayer and processing then theirs?

After this little ordeal, now that most of the staff heard the squealing, knows my weight, and thus, I am accountable come time for dessert, I must choose not to believe the lies that I am less ______ than I could/should be and choose the Truth. Jesus is infatuated with who He is and so am I. He is everything. So here's to a little more movement in my life, a little less Nutella (fo' real only a little less...that stuff is the bomb!), and lots of loving the women around me more than I did yesterday. Insecurity doesn't just stop when you reach a number on the scale. It stops when He says "You're ridiculously good looking. Insecurity, say what?!?" Or something to that end...

Love Thy Neighbor

At the JT, you have lots of neighbors. Guest neighbors. Puppy neighbors. Food cart neighbors. Gecko neighbors. Mommy and baby neighbors.

My immediate neighbors are always changing, and I'm learning to embrace this change. Sitting on my balcony this afternoon reading "Praying in Color," I noticed my next door neighbor also reading on her balcony while her family watched TV. We didn't say anything to the other, but it was nice knowing that I had company. After being in the community industry for a while now (Resident Assistant, Ice Cream Server, Hostel Volunteer), it is quite noticeable when there is no community. September has been a pretty slow month for the JT, but things are picking up once again, and I am getting new neighbors, new community. My joy is increasing.

One neighbor in particular has increased my joy tremendously. When she first arrived here, I was overwhelmed by her personality. She comes from a culture I am not familiar with and a story unlike my own. She is a community junkie. Since my neighborhood had been pretty lean on community lately, I really had a slow time adjusting to this push for community. I prayed for my heart to be opened to her and for God's love to be manifested in our time together. Since then, I have heard how she met her husband, what dishes her daughter likes to cook, the compliments her dad gives her, how God healed her of breast cancer, and how she converted to Christianity from Hinduism. She also is "a strong daughter of the living God," as she would say. "Praise God," "my sister," and "my God is alive!" are some of the phrases constantly surrounding this woman. She believes in Jesus Christ and is not afraid to let people know. While on "vacation" here, she has witnessed to a local massage hut owner and connected her with a Thai church. I repeat, she does not live here and is on "vacation." She is a force to be reckoned with, one that makes me ask myself "What the heck kind of faith do I have?!" She leaves tomorrow, and I am genuinely going to miss her smile around my neighborhood.

Thanks be to God for showing himself to us through the differences in others. Thanks be to God for the community he puts around us at any given time, constantly changing, inviting us to join in.


[Y'all. I posted this the first time and as I hit publish, the lady came into the office saying the massage worker she witnessed to accepted Christ. She has been invited to share Jesus at a dinner full of Thai people tonight on our beach. I am going with. WHAT?!??]

10 Thai Words You Should Know and Why

With all of these Thai lessons, I felt the need to share some of the goodness with y'all. Maybe if I know that other people are learning the language, it will motivate me a little more. Ha!


1. Bai! [pronounced: bye] (Go!)

• Essential to scare away stray dogs off your property. Used best when powerfully shouting while clapping your hands in front of you and running wildly at the dog.

2. Suay [pronounced: soo-why] (beautiful)

• Said to me by the Thai staff every time I dress up for church on Sunday. Said casually in passing. I like this culture.

3. Mamwan Suk [pronounced:mom-won sook] (ripe mango...like the kind we have in the USofA but much better)

• the juiciest of fruit that practically dissolves in my mouth, to which I get super excited when it is brought out at lunch and all the staff joke about there not being enough for me and I must go without. never. I am also told by our Indian/Bangla guests that theirs is much better. i'll need to investigate first-hand.

4. Khao Niao [pronounced: cow nee-ow] (sticky rice)

• the perfect partner to the above "mamwan suk" Seriously, I just about cry when they are separate. Can put a smile on my face just about anytime of day.

5. Mai Ow [pronounced: my ow] (I don't want it.)

• To be used almost every time you visit a public beach in a tourist city as Thai vendors approach you every five seconds to by a T-shirt that reads "Starbuks" (yes, misspelled) or American flag pajama pants.

6. Phet [pronounced: pet] (spicy)

• Accompanied most often with the word "mai" (meaning no or not) when spoken by Westerners. It is crucial in ordering food in Thailand, especially being white.

7. Farang [pronounced: fuh-rong, roll the tongue on the R] (white foreigner)

• probably the word I hear most often while in Thailand, especially when travelling in non-tourist villages/cities. Not derogatory.

8. Array Na? [pronounced: uh-rye nah, roll the tongue on the R] (what? or excuse me?)

• I use this phrase the most on a daily basis. I am learning Thai, but Thai speakers still talk way too quickly for me to understand, so I use this little helper and they repeat what they said.

9. Chop Ma [pronounced: chaawp mah] (I like it a lot!)

• The staff usually asks me if I like things 100 times a day: their country, their cooking, their dress, etc. and this is my answer most of the time! unless it's fried wasp larvae, then I reply "mai chop" with a disgusted face meaning "I don't like it!"

10. Sawadee! [pronounced: suh-wah-dee] (Hello!)

• MUST be said we the biggest smile ever and a slight bowing, really a nod, of the head. Girls, go ahead and add a "Kaa [pronounced: kah]" onto the end of this one to make it polite. Boys, tack on a "Khrap [pronounced: crop, with a slight tongue roll on the R]" Girls and boys, go ahead and tack these on to pretty much anything you say in Thai to make it come off super polite.

This lesson was brought on by me waving my hands around in the air, shouting, and loudly running down our driveway to get our neighbor's dog off our property an hour ago. So thank the dog, and you're welcome for the linguistic knowledge you have gained and can impress that special someone with at your next mutual international function.

Sawadee Kaa! (also used for "goodbye")

Stuck on Hospitality

Yesterday I took the car into the city and had a full day of just walking around. I wound through the alleys and the streets and the side streets. I passed the street vendors waiting for customers, women chatting on street steps, foreigners with their huge backpacks and large maps unfolded in their faces, and the rows and rows of motorbikes lining the curbs. I felt home.

The beaches in Hua Hin during September are rather bare. Everyone is tucked away in their own resort pools or cabanas. So, when I tried to sneak into the Hilton to use their pool, I was convicted, mainly by the large stares I received by the employees. Before I even could reach for my sunscreen, I was high tailing it to the public beach, past the security guards and Hilton workers. For the first time, I felt really on the outside of the hospitality "inner circle." The circle seems smaller when you don't have access to it. It seems grander and overflowing with privilege and delight.

Then the funniest thing happened, I got really bitter at the Hilton. I was laying on a large rock in a cove under the side shadows of this large hotel monstrosity and I felt bitterness and disgust rise up in me. It was really strong and I can still taste it in my mouth. I found myself trying to prove why I was better than these people staying in this hotel who were not really tasting true Thai culture. I visited the international supermarket later the day and found disgust again at all the ex-pat families buying lunch meat and Goldfish in bulk. I glared at them, like they were in the wrong. The hilarity of the whole day was that I walked away with bread products, Nutella, jam, and peanut butter. I was hypocrisy in all its false glory.

So last night when I got back to the Juniper Tree I had a long thought about why I felt so disgusted with these people or this corporation that I thought stood for everything but cultural immersion. The anthropologist and the hotelier in me were waging war on each other and I was stuck. I was stuck on hospitality. I was stuck in my love for it. I couldn't think anything bad about it, even though my outrage flared as I laid in the shadows of the very large concrete "man." My failed past of working in a large hotel looming on the front of my brain with my guttural need to create a space for people to feel rest, delight in their surrounding culture, and feel the presence of the Lord courting them in all His intimacy and truth, trying to take its place. Even as I'm typing this, it's hard for me not to get emotional. I am ultimately confronting my pride. It's large and in charge when it comes to this topic. My calling is at stake. God has given me this dream to start a hospitality venue filled with good food (a bakery no doubt), lots of community movie watching, loud praise and worship nights, and truly personal accommodations. How can I do this if I'm judging other industries trying to give people rest, too? How can I hear God if I'm sinking in the sand of my past?

I haven't gotten really far in the thought process, but I have repented for trying to sneak into a space I was not given access to and then disliking those that make the rules. I think I'm most scared of admitting that something in this field is not giving me pleasure. I had a similar feeling when I wrote a paper debunking the "most magical place on Earth" in college. It was like drowning my pet or something.

This is probably really silly to read for most of you. There is just so much of my heart tied up in this encounter: my failure, my pride, my passion, my fear. And it's just sitting in front of me. And God is whispering "Give it to me, darling." So I will.