The Oh My Lanta

Things end. And they are followed by other beautiful beginnings.
Friends came to end and there were tears. Gossip Girl ended and no one cared (except the few, the proud, the GGs). Friday Night Lights ended and everyone skipped work the next day.

The past few years I have seen many things end, said many goodbyes, and had many "first days" on/in a new job, home, and community group. For Christians, these are Gospel Goodbyes: The leaving of a place so loved and held close to your heart, the only solace in leaving it is that one day you will see the people and the glorified place again--redeemed and rejoicing. So, this is a Gospel Goodbye.

Before I get way too sappy, I have just a few things to say about my year at the Juniper Tree.

1. The Juniper Tree Dolphin Bay is a reflection of Heaven seen in a very dim mirror. A moment I will never forget is sitting at the head of the table for Thanksgiving dinner. Looking down the table, pulling my eyes off the scrumptious turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce, I saw the faces of strangers interacting as the family of God--laughter and warm smiles intermingled amongst the onset of turkey coma and slouched bodies in chairs. It was pretty stinkin' awesome. (And I got to share 12 pumpkin pies with this family).

2. God was so sweet to me. The many moments I felt alone and bored in my tiny village at night, God was so intimate with me. He spoke softly to me--the kind of speech reserved only for a lover. He glorified Himself, as he does so well, in my weakest moments (and there were many). At the exact moment I needed him and finally postured myself towards him, He greeted me with open arms and the Spirit led me to sweet repentance and communion.

3. Stories were shared over meals and cups of tea about the movement of the Spirit in villages and communities across Asia that resulted in entire villages becoming followers of Christ. Stories about people from Afghanistan to Sri Lanka to Inner Mongolia praising God in their own tongue and their own way. Stories from missionaries who were blessed to use their own unique gifts such as coaching wrestling or brewing a super good cup of coffee to lead others to Christ. Stories from parents of adopted children that took four years to become legally theirs while I watched these said children run around the garden of the Juniper Tree. There were so many stories, so many times I teared up or cried, and so many moments that I couldn't do anything but laugh, smile, and say "Praise God. Thank you, Jesus!"

4.  Loneliness was real working at the JTDB as a single woman. Despite being surrounded by over 90 guests at times, I felt very alone come sundown because the community at the guesthouse exists mainly during meal times. However, I was able to truly connect with about 20 individuals, couples, and families throughout my year there that I will hopefully keep in touch with and definifitely pray for. But, for the most part, it was work and then alone time, and it was hard. At the beginning, I thought it would be nice to have so much time to myself to do whatever I wanted to do. Then, I realized I'm a sinner saved by grace and that so much alone time got to be a battle for righteousness, thus forcing myself to hang out with neighbors or watch sermons when all my flesh wanted to do was watch the next episode of the Bachelorette. I didn't come to Thailand to watch the Bachelorette. I came to be with its people and love them as I am loved by Christ.

5. My neighbors were the BOMBDOTCOM. What a sweet gift this family was and how grateful I am to the Lord for pushing me to open myself up to them and for their generosity and love in return. At times, they were the people that kept me going. They held me when I cried over falling off my first motorbike, laughed with me every single day over virtually nothing, and let me hold their beautiful babies as they grew to be running tikes with diva personalities. I had the immense joy of praying over them and will continue to do so, hoping in Jesus that they will come to know him as Lord and Savior.

6. My coworkers were all unique members of the body of Christ with many different views on end times, America (haha!), Jesus as Lover, and sin. These people sharpened me and continually turned my eyes toward the Day, as only the sweetest community does.




That was some of my life this past year--oh how hard it is to sum up an entire year in a post that people will actually read. I am sitting in a Starbucks in Flower Mound, Texas, trying to connect my experiences in Thailand with my heart and mind now, and it's really difficult. Being home one week has been overwhelming at times and yet, normal, at others. Prayer is genuinely the only thing that is getting me from one day to the next--keeping me accountable to those I said goodbye to in Thailand and present with those here in the States for this season. I want to say a BIG THANK YOU to all who prayed for me, sent good wishes my way, or supported me financially, with gifts, or otherwise. You have no idea what it meant to receive any note, gift, or contribution--no matter the size.

NOW FOR THE MOST EXCITING INFORMATION OF THE WHOLE POST...HOPE Y'ALL HAVE HELD ON!!! (Keep in mind, this is a very fluid "plan," as any international move/job is).
I am beyond excited to say I am moving back to Bangkok, Thailand, in January 2015 to help the Praise family--a Christian Thai family I met three years ago during my first trip to Thailand--begin an awesome Christian center as a way to reach the people of Bangkok with the Gospel. Over many years, this center will encompass a coffeehouse/cafe, church, small guesthouse, cooking school, worship music academy, English camp, and hip hang out space, among many other visions the Lord has given this family. Unlike the Juniper Tree, this place is being created from the ground up, meaning all the direction, funding, and recruitment will be coming from us and those God calls to invest in this center. It is truly an exciting opportunity and one that I believe the Lord has called me to, undoubtedly. It perfectly combines my love for administration, hospitality, love of Thai people, and a desire to see the Kingdom come to Earth! Managing the center, with a team God calls over the next year, is somewhat terrifying because it requires all the faith the Lord can give me. It will require me doing things so big and crazy and out of my comfort zone that only a very big God could pull this off and keep Himself, His love, and grace, as the foundation and motivation. If you would like to hear more about this opportunity, I will be sending out informational letters and would love to discuss the vision with anyone who will listen!! I currently do not have a way to make donations to this vision tax-deductible (we don't have a foundation based in America), so, if you know anyone who can help with this--give me a shout!!



Prayer requests at this time:

* I get my wisdom teeth out on Friday and am totally freaking out. If you know me at all, you will understand this. So, pray for a healthy, speedy operation and recovery, as well as peace throughout.

* Discipline to process my year and input some action steps into my spiritual life going forward.

* A smooth transition into life in Austin, Texas, beginning in September (finding housing, securing a job, church group, etc).

* Safety as I travel around the States to see friends and family this next month.

* Continued joy and determination to look toward next year with expectation and a persevering commitment to its healthy foundation through prayer, supporters, and organization.

* People to surround and support me throughout my potentially long-term journey in Thailand beginning in 2015.



Y'ALL. This last year and my next steps are, indeed, deserving of an "Oh my lanta!' So, all together now... OH MY LANTA! and thank you, sweet Jesus.

The One Before "The Oh My Lanta"

May: When guests are few and it's HOT!!
May: When time with neighbors is sweet and spring cleaning is in full swing.
May: When news outlets all over the world make Thailand look like the end of said world.
May: When God reminds me of the blessings I have and my purpose in life to reflect His name.
May: When I realize I only have a little over a month in my tranquil village by the beach and my stomach does flips because that is ridiculous and cannot be true.

Alas, it is true. WHAT! No.

This is not the last post from Thailand--the post where I start getting beyond emotional about leaving the babies, puppies, women, and fishermen that have made my last year sneakily amazing. No, this is the post before that post, letting those that have prayed for me and wished good things on my behalf know that my time at the Juniper Tree Dolphin Bay is coming to an end.

I leave for the States on July 8. If you have thought about supporting me financially, I welcome these gifts (as they are still needed) but ask that they be sent by the middle of June in order to receive them and use them while I am still on mission in Thailand. I can't wait to catch up with ALL of my family and friends while I'm home.  But, there is so many tearful goodbyes to say before that time. YIKES! What a difference God can make in one year.

Look for that SUPER emotional post coming in a month or so. It will hopefully contain some exciting news about my next step in life!! Until then, pray for me and my goodbyes, the state of Thailand's political system, and the guests at the Juniper Tree to be refreshed to do their work.

Unstoppable Rivers

¹⁷When the poor and needy seek water,

    and there is none,
    and their tongue is parched with thirst,
I the Lord will answer them;
    I the God of Israel will not forsake them.
¹⁸ I will open rivers on the bare heights,
    and fountains in the midst of the valleys.
I will make the wilderness a pool of water,
    and the dry land springs of water.
¹⁹ I will put in the wilderness the cedar,
    the acacia, the myrtle, and the olive.
I will set in the desert the cypress,
    the plane and the pine together,
²⁰ that they may see and know,
    may consider and understand together,
that the hand of the Lord has done this,
    the Holy One of Israel has created it.

Isaiah 41:17-20

 

Every night I crawl into bed, turn on my Christmas lights over my bed and think on the day, just before my head starts swirling with dreams, there is a war. A war between my flesh and my faith in the Creator. I can choose in these few lasting moments before the day comes to a close to trust Him with tomorrow and next year or succumb to the worrisome killer of faith that is my flesh. God lets nothing slip by, leaves nothing half-done, and brings nothing in our path he has not already designed a way over, through, around, or out of. He's just that BIG and that GOOD and that UNSTOPPABLE.

 

Before your eyes close tonight and tomorrow and next week, choose to trust him. You will wake up, God-willing, with the steadfastness of his love to get up, walk on, and keep believing that He's already won the war. He's victorious and in some crazy way, we can be, too.

 



The Good For the Greatest

I read an article this morning that prompted me to finally sit down and write an entire blog post. Yes, I know, it's been almost 4 months so this article must have been something, huh? I guess, but really this has been on my heart for a while. The idea of trading the Good (in the here and now) for the Greatest (now and forever).

Living relatively alone in the midst of hundreds of people still brings me ample time to think on my past and my future. I realize the best things in my life, spiritual or other wise, have come from giving up what I (and the majority of the world) considered to be the Good--romantic relationships, money, nights out, entertainment, security, in-person friendship and the comfort of my best friends, the opportunity to eat healthy and workout in a gym. Even those things that the Christian world calls dear-- discipleship, a church that feeds my soul, accountability, Christian roommates, organized service opportunities, sharing a meal with those who love you and call you friend. As well as the countless sins that entrap you to enjoy the Good while the Greatest remains 30 yards down the field, seemingly never to be grasped or to be sought after next week, next month, next year. All this Good, I have tearjerkingly, painstakingly, not-so-effectively-most-of-the-time been trading for the Greatest--sweet time with my Savior, sometimes via podcast or a good book and sometimes just sitting and listening. GOSH how hard this is when my Twitter and Instagram feeds live within an arm's reach at all times. And then there's been those times lately instead of living in my little room and watching countless hours of some terrible TV show, I choose to sit with my neighbors even though at times I want to scream because I am so frustrated at our language barrier. This sacrifice isn't groundbreaking, it's what I signed up for. It's being a present member of this relationship to God I committed to about 13 years ago. Just like an absent father, an over-indulgent wife, or a technologically-crazed teenager, I have been in this relationship without really committing much to it. The Good relationships come with quick satisfaction and menial sacrifice. The Greatest relationships come with the most sacrifices and long-lasting rewards.

Thank you to those who have stood along my path to sitting here in Thailand, whether you were cheering me on, picking me back up, or kicking my butt at times. God is renewing bodies and families here at the Juniper Tree, and he is renewing my heart daily to love him better. It's stinkin' hard work and I really don't always enjoy it, especially in the quiet hours of the evening, but it's the Greatest. This life is the Greatest. He is the Greatest.

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P.S. Update: Thank you for supporting me financially and through prayer. I have been blown away by God's provision for me through your donations and quality time in prayer. The Juniper Tree has gone from crazy packed busy to less busy to busy again over the past 4 months. My parents have joined me in Asia for 2 weeks which was such a blessing and now my best friend is coming in a week or so. I only have about 3 months left at the Juniper Tree, which is ridiculously crazy. Looking forward to finishing strong!