Things end. And they are followed by other beautiful beginnings.
Friends came to end and there were tears. Gossip Girl ended and no one cared (except the few, the proud, the GGs). Friday Night Lights ended and everyone skipped work the next day.
The past few years I have seen many things end, said many goodbyes, and had many "first days" on/in a new job, home, and community group. For Christians, these are Gospel Goodbyes: The leaving of a place so loved and held close to your heart, the only solace in leaving it is that one day you will see the people and the glorified place again--redeemed and rejoicing. So, this is a Gospel Goodbye.
Before I get way too sappy, I have just a few things to say about my year at the Juniper Tree.
1. The Juniper Tree Dolphin Bay is a reflection of Heaven seen in a very dim mirror. A moment I will never forget is sitting at the head of the table for Thanksgiving dinner. Looking down the table, pulling my eyes off the scrumptious turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce, I saw the faces of strangers interacting as the family of God--laughter and warm smiles intermingled amongst the onset of turkey coma and slouched bodies in chairs. It was pretty stinkin' awesome. (And I got to share 12 pumpkin pies with this family).
2. God was so sweet to me. The many moments I felt alone and bored in my tiny village at night, God was so intimate with me. He spoke softly to me--the kind of speech reserved only for a lover. He glorified Himself, as he does so well, in my weakest moments (and there were many). At the exact moment I needed him and finally postured myself towards him, He greeted me with open arms and the Spirit led me to sweet repentance and communion.
3. Stories were shared over meals and cups of tea about the movement of the Spirit in villages and communities across Asia that resulted in entire villages becoming followers of Christ. Stories about people from Afghanistan to Sri Lanka to Inner Mongolia praising God in their own tongue and their own way. Stories from missionaries who were blessed to use their own unique gifts such as coaching wrestling or brewing a super good cup of coffee to lead others to Christ. Stories from parents of adopted children that took four years to become legally theirs while I watched these said children run around the garden of the Juniper Tree. There were so many stories, so many times I teared up or cried, and so many moments that I couldn't do anything but laugh, smile, and say "Praise God. Thank you, Jesus!"
4. Loneliness was real working at the JTDB as a single woman. Despite being surrounded by over 90 guests at times, I felt very alone come sundown because the community at the guesthouse exists mainly during meal times. However, I was able to truly connect with about 20 individuals, couples, and families throughout my year there that I will hopefully keep in touch with and definifitely pray for. But, for the most part, it was work and then alone time, and it was hard. At the beginning, I thought it would be nice to have so much time to myself to do whatever I wanted to do. Then, I realized I'm a sinner saved by grace and that so much alone time got to be a battle for righteousness, thus forcing myself to hang out with neighbors or watch sermons when all my flesh wanted to do was watch the next episode of the Bachelorette. I didn't come to Thailand to watch the Bachelorette. I came to be with its people and love them as I am loved by Christ.
5. My neighbors were the BOMBDOTCOM. What a sweet gift this family was and how grateful I am to the Lord for pushing me to open myself up to them and for their generosity and love in return. At times, they were the people that kept me going. They held me when I cried over falling off my first motorbike, laughed with me every single day over virtually nothing, and let me hold their beautiful babies as they grew to be running tikes with diva personalities. I had the immense joy of praying over them and will continue to do so, hoping in Jesus that they will come to know him as Lord and Savior.
6. My coworkers were all unique members of the body of Christ with many different views on end times, America (haha!), Jesus as Lover, and sin. These people sharpened me and continually turned my eyes toward the Day, as only the sweetest community does.
That was some of my life this past year--oh how hard it is to sum up an entire year in a post that people will actually read. I am sitting in a Starbucks in Flower Mound, Texas, trying to connect my experiences in Thailand with my heart and mind now, and it's really difficult. Being home one week has been overwhelming at times and yet, normal, at others. Prayer is genuinely the only thing that is getting me from one day to the next--keeping me accountable to those I said goodbye to in Thailand and present with those here in the States for this season. I want to say a BIG THANK YOU to all who prayed for me, sent good wishes my way, or supported me financially, with gifts, or otherwise. You have no idea what it meant to receive any note, gift, or contribution--no matter the size.
NOW FOR THE MOST EXCITING INFORMATION OF THE WHOLE POST...HOPE Y'ALL HAVE HELD ON!!! (Keep in mind, this is a very fluid "plan," as any international move/job is).
I am beyond excited to say I am moving back to Bangkok, Thailand, in January 2015 to help the Praise family--a Christian Thai family I met three years ago during my first trip to Thailand--begin an awesome Christian center as a way to reach the people of Bangkok with the Gospel. Over many years, this center will encompass a coffeehouse/cafe, church, small guesthouse, cooking school, worship music academy, English camp, and hip hang out space, among many other visions the Lord has given this family. Unlike the Juniper Tree, this place is being created from the ground up, meaning all the direction, funding, and recruitment will be coming from us and those God calls to invest in this center. It is truly an exciting opportunity and one that I believe the Lord has called me to, undoubtedly. It perfectly combines my love for administration, hospitality, love of Thai people, and a desire to see the Kingdom come to Earth! Managing the center, with a team God calls over the next year, is somewhat terrifying because it requires all the faith the Lord can give me. It will require me doing things so big and crazy and out of my comfort zone that only a very big God could pull this off and keep Himself, His love, and grace, as the foundation and motivation. If you would like to hear more about this opportunity, I will be sending out informational letters and would love to discuss the vision with anyone who will listen!! I currently do not have a way to make donations to this vision tax-deductible (we don't have a foundation based in America), so, if you know anyone who can help with this--give me a shout!!
Prayer requests at this time:
* I get my wisdom teeth out on Friday and am totally freaking out. If you know me at all, you will understand this. So, pray for a healthy, speedy operation and recovery, as well as peace throughout.
* Discipline to process my year and input some action steps into my spiritual life going forward.
* A smooth transition into life in Austin, Texas, beginning in September (finding housing, securing a job, church group, etc).
* Safety as I travel around the States to see friends and family this next month.
* Continued joy and determination to look toward next year with expectation and a persevering commitment to its healthy foundation through prayer, supporters, and organization.
* People to surround and support me throughout my potentially long-term journey in Thailand beginning in 2015.
Y'ALL. This last year and my next steps are, indeed, deserving of an "Oh my lanta!' So, all together now... OH MY LANTA! and thank you, sweet Jesus.
