Waiting on the World to Change

 
John Mayer may have coined these lyrics and Hannah and Amanda may have made motions to them...but that has been the motto of the last half of my week. Through outreach in the bar district Soi Cowboy again to witnessing human brokenness...cough cough my own...I am just waiting on the Lord's redemption of his earth. Cause honestly...I got absolutely nothing.

Outreach was such a blast. I got to meet two new girlfriends and we chatted for about an hour. I got to hear a little bit of their pasts, their dreams, and their plans for later that night. I got both of their contact information and am hoping to stay in touch with at least one of them. God gave me such strength during my time at the bars. I listened to the Spirit when to speak, when to move, and when to ride the conversation out. I was so impressed with God's ability to use me...me?...it was very encouraging. What was more encouraging was the time of prayer and sharing the house had after outreach. I knew that I needed prayer for any spot in my hurt Satan was hiding away waiting for the perfect hour to spark fear or doubt into my soul. We prayed against these things but more importantly for the women that we met. Thursday, we waited for these same women to show up to the Well to work on their English but no one showed. We are continually praying that they will come to the Well or some other set location so we can interact with them in another setting as well as the bars.

I am definitely feeling at home here. Ok, maybe not home, but grounded. The tourist card is not flying at around every corner. I am becoming responsible for all I say and do and that has been hard. The culture thing is so challenging. I even know what not to do theoretically from anthropology classes but the best learning, even spiritual learning, is by doing sometimes. I could use some prayer for my mindset as a short term missionary. I know life here is not about me or my self-preservation, looking for just the right amount of service that I can still maintain a comfort level. No, my time here is to pour myself out. My soul has not caught up with this goal yet, if I am honest, but I want so desperately to be there. So, pray.

Today--Saturday--Hannah, Faang--a 20 year-old who works at the Well--, and I journeyed to Ayutthaya to experience the ruins and tourist attractions. It was so stinkin hot! Despite the massive sunburn to my arms that occurred while riding a bike around the city for 5 hours--yes, Summer Holeman rode a bike and only crashed once!--it was a joyful time full of elephants, smoothies, good friends, and sleeping in minibuses. We finished the night in Bangkok for KIRSTEN'S 22nd BIRTHDAY! Shout out to you love!!! We ate at this cook-your-own everything buffet complete with famous Thai comedians. It was a blast!

Thank you for all your prayers. I covet them and praise the Lord more for his grace to me this past few days. He is truly worthy of everything I have, do, and desire to be.

King's Park-Bangkok...where the crew does their running workouts. I did not have running shoes...so I looked cute and walked. ha.

King's Park again.

ROTI...just another Thai food that will make me never leave this country. fried crepe with eggs, banana, chocolate sauce, and condensed milk on top. wowza.

In Ayutthaya...the ruins. 

Temple.

Victory Monument in Bangkok...where out bus departed from.

loving the ruins. ha.

Elephants. I was scared to be that close. I thought they were going to smack me on the head. 

beauty.

so awesome! so cute. 

my mode of transport. hot.

water buffalo. hahaha.

weird fish that we pet as we watched a water show in Ayutthaya.

water show. weird.

Back in Bangkok...for Kirsten's b-day dinner.

Although Kirsten looks like she is throwing up...she did in fact love the food!

Bike extravaganza in Ayutthaya

Famous Thai comedian that told me in Thai to uncross my legs because it wasn't proper and that he was gonna steal my passport or something, while calling me "farang"...translates like "gringo" would in Spanish.

Prayer

This morning we had a wonderful staff worship time. Richard--one of the leaders of the Well--gave a mini-sermon on the question in the Bible that David asks often "How long O Lord?" I have definitely asked this question this year. In asking "How long", I have not actually brought these requests in prayer to Lord but just complained and worried how I was going to fix the problem myself. To ask the Lord "How long?" as David did, one needs to groan with all that is within them...to groan so much as to say "Lord, I cannot hold this any longer. I need you to take this from me." This is not demanding an answer but asking for peace. The peace usually comes when God in return asks the questions of us "How long, Summer? How long will you continue not to trust me?  Then, we shall find peace because we are not waiting for God to fix something but He is waiting for us to praise him and work diligently at handing over our burdens in prayer. As Richard said, David was not polite when he asked these things. He accused God of leaving him and cried out with his whole body over and over. He did not stop until God responded. He was a conversation. The Psalms are a conversation and we can see that by the change in David's mood almost every chapter!

Before staff worship today, our house has morning prayer at 5:30. I was basically dreading this time up until last night when I heard the Holy Spirit tell me I should get up for it and he would give me the strength to make it through the day--which he has. So, at 5:20 this morning I found myself awake--my whole room was awake actually--and I wandered downstairs for prayer. OH WHAT A SWEET TIME IT WAS! I was alive and awake with passion. We did Korean-style prayer where everyone prays at one time out loud. At the beginning, we made a list of people we wanted to prayer for and come up with around 20 bullet points of groups, couples, and individuals. One of these people is one of Cori and Jup's friends in one of the bar districts. She has found herself out of the bars and then back in again due to the need of money and a place to stay, I gather. I was thinking of how reliable the bars are for people, specifically the women. They are open everyday with customers from all over the world. They know they can receive a job, a place to stay, a mother of sorts--the mama-san--who is a step under the bar manager, more of an overseer of the girls. When their friend got in a tight spot or any of the women at the Well get in a tight spot, they always have a reliable industry that will welcome them with open arms. It reminded me of John 4--with the story of the woman at the Well--and how the woman could always rely on the well in Sychar to provide her with sustenance. She most likely never doubted that her routine would be changed during the day because of the well. She always went and visited and gathered her water for the day. However, when Jesus came, he gave her a new routine--one that involved running to her village and telling her people of this new kind of sustenance--eternal sustenance. She most likely visited the well still but she had a different meaning attached to the water now. She understood temporary a little bit better. Likewise, in Bangkok, the women are given a gift of eternal sustenance and a new routine, and a new understanding of work. While the women always have the option of returning to the bar industry that provides a temporary "drink" the Well has the opportunity to provide another type of reliability. I was challenged to share this with the staff during worship and share time but I never got the chance because of the eagerness of people to share and contribute to the service. All in all, I learned the importance of the Well offering a reliable source of eternal sustenance by constantly waiting on the Lord and putting our burdens before him.

This is to say, I gained a love for prayer and the Word today. It was beautiful and will continue to be beautiful.

Some other beautiful things:

Blowing up balloon animals for the Celebrate Recovery celebration!

balloons...PARTY!

fearless Kindra

dainty Kirsten

feisty Jup

flower in our water pot

Chinese temple on our walk to The Well everyday. wow.

BE

Gosh this is an overused phrase: Just be.

However, that's really all I can do. Not even do...Be. Is there anything in the English language that can describe the inherent goodness of being. As I sit...I am just sitting. not doing really anything. sipping on tea. listening to conversations around me. hearing distant music downstairs. praying for a girl downstairs who is hurting. feeling my ever growing stomach. just simple. lovely, really. In the art of being I am learning the ebb and flow of my spirit, my heart. I get really uncomfortable in the heat, sitting on the floor, but when I listen to music my heart is put to rest and I am able to feel more. This idea of feeling and being all began last night on my first outreach experience.

Around 8, June, Juup, Cori and I hopped in a taxi outside our house. (by the way, we live in the "hood" and it makes life all the more thrilling. I noticed how life outside of our neighborhood of On Nut really is much different. Traveling through the city by taxi, I began to see the affluence of Bangkok that I really never get to see hanging around my area of town. Oh! and p.s. Bangkok is about 2+ hours across by car...yes, it is that big!) We rode for about an hour to this abandoned side street where prostitutes usually line the and cars and motorbikes drive pass, slow down, and bargain for prices. However, tonight around 9:15 there was only four girls out. We talked to one of them, who was absolutely gorgeous, and she gave us her cell phone number and was interested in what the Well does. We will most definitely keep in contact. Next, we went to Soi Cowboy, which is one of four popular sex areas in Thailand--also the one with the most history with the Well. Soi Cowboy is basically a very small Vegas. It is only one alley way but it is so bright with neon lights and loud music. There are bars on either side and some are go-go bars where girls dance inside or some are open-air with sports playing on televisions. There is poor beggars and tourists galore. There are food carts and girls holding signs and yelling at passerby to visit their bar instead of the others. Cori and Jup made stops with their friends and attempted to catch up while their bosses looked on. Eventually I got to do some talking with a firecracker of a girl. She was so pretty--soooo pretty. She had immaculate English because her ex-boyfriend was from Switzerland. She was dressed in a Dallas Cowboys cheerleading outfit--which was fitting seeing as I am from Dallas. We made small talk and then I asked her about her life. She said she started working in the industry when she was 12 in her home province. Her parents both died when she was young and she has been working ever since. From just spending 10 minutes with her--I could tell she was vivacious and was good at what she did, making pauses in our conversation to yell across the street at passing men. I am definitely going to pursue her the next time we do outreach in Soi Cowboy. Please pray that she will be open to telling me more of her story and we have more of an opportunity to talk without her managers hovering. Overall, I loved outreach and I could feel the spirit of the Lord protect my heart and welcoming me into the hearts of the women.

Switching gears and days, the girls of the house went shopping at Chat-tu-chak..I have no idea about the spelling. It is a weekend market that is HUGE. I don't know how many acres but this thing was massive and very maze like. There are thousands of vendors selling everything from cloth to trinkets to food to furniture to flowers to pets. We spent a very hot day there and I got to buy some things and the other girls bought souvenirs or "nesting" items for the house to spruce it up a bit.

This week I also got to hang out with a girl named Fak-fang. She is 20 and is taking a year off from university in Bangkok. Her mother works at the Well and she is going to start helping out around the Well, too. She knows more English than I know Thai, but still our adventure together was quite disconnected and humorous. We went to a mall sort of thing and ate dinner. It was so fun! We helped each other learn our prospective languages. I am hoping to continue a friendship with her. She is awesome!

The Asbury girls, Kindra and Kirsten come TONIGHT...in about 3 hours actually! I am super stoked to have American roommates. Please pray for us as a unit to not rely on each other entirely and really reach out to everyone in the house and at the Well, but also for us to have some solidarity of being totally lost in a foreign culture!

Prayer requests for me in this coming week:
1. Patience with Thai culture
2. A sense of purpose exterior to what I accomplish this summer
3. Some exploratory moments around Bangkok
4. Some much needed intimacy with my Heavenly Father. I have been quite distracted by all the newness: the heat, the food, the lack of communication, settling in, that I have not concentrated on the true reason I have come to such a distant land--to bring glory and honor to the Messiah God

Here are some pics of the week:

Chat-tu-chak market...before all the people arrived. Drinking coconut milk!

Some kind of fruit...with a cool moth/butterfly...we thought it was pretty.

an aisle at the market. They literally go on forever.

my FAVORITE part. the puppies! they we all so miniature. the little beagle!

and of course mini bunnies.

the TEA man. epic. he would dance around and juggle thai tea.

oh bliss. coconut ice cream in a real coconut. the perfect snack.

an open part of the market. 

this was one of the coolest vendors...partly for its name. but its clothes were adorable. also VERY expensive.

busy Bangkok

new earrings.

International Consistencies

In my few short days here, I have learned many things like it's good not to know what you are eating until after you finish it (pig blood soup) or I actually do have to watch my weight here...Thai food is not as healthy as I assumed...but the big take away so far is the consistency I am finding across international boundaries. Three things in particular: the Holy Spirit, personality, and burnout. The Holy Spirit moves in great ways here. I don't know the Thai language but I can feel the Holy Spirit as my Thai friends sing and worship together. Every person at the Well has a personality and I am coming to find them irresistibly lovely and unique. Even with the language barrier--almost more so because of it--I am able to pick up on the intrinsic core of a person do to their mannerisms and way they carry themselves. I was able to pick up on the brilliance and articulate nature of the students and teachers during worship/share time this morning. We talked about how one manifests the Fruits of the Spirit in their daily living. Wow! did people pull out metaphors of gardens and trees that I would have never thought of and the pictures they painted were absolutely amazing. In my first day at the Well, I have majorly practiced the art of listening and serving. I have learned to serve through listening and only offering insight if it is needed. In America, I feel the need to speak my mind pretty much all the time, whether or not the comment will be helpful--more just for myself, to get it off my chest kind of a thing. However, here, because I do not know the language, I am limited in the speech I have and therefore must make it count. Lastly, burnout can be experienced in any culture. The Thai people love to work but just like Americans can lose the passion and joy for work. No matter the reasoning for its loss--it is devastating and can produce hopelessness. I know I felt this many times this semester when the work I was doing felt like a chore and not a passion pit I was shoveling more of myself into.

I am reading "When Helping Hurts," a book that was recommended to me. It is all about how to help the poor--what approach to take and so on. In conjunction with the book, I received my job assignment for the summer--well, really I chose it. I will be doing three main things. First, I will come up with a personal budgeting curriculum that I will teach to a select number of women. Next, I will configure an outline of a personal budget for the women at The Well. When they have maintained this system they can then access loans. These loans are a part of the third portion of my job. I will copy an already in place system for an individual-based microfinance plan for the Well, enabling women to take out loans giving a good history of saving as well as encourage the women in good money handling schemes for life in the future outside the Well. This sounds like a huge task but I am confident that I can add something to these three categories and genuinely say the women learned some valuable life skills. More importantly, I will learn some valuable budgeting skills in the process!

Evangelical Church of Bangkok

It was a great service about suffering. The ministry plug of the day was for Night Light--the largest organization in Thailand that does what the Well does. It was weird hearing about a ministry that was working in the same city. We hear about this half way across the world, but they were asking for people to partner with them a couple blocks away. It was awesome. 

My first pat thai in Thailand! Along with a delicious banana smoothie. All for $1.50 of course.

Under the sky train just outside church.

Melon Mint. A restaurant/open-air bar about 10 minutes from our house. It was sooo chic with the Chelsea soccer game in the background. I will definitely be going back!

A horribly blurry picture of us eating at Melon Mint.

Thai Tea. One of my many new found obsession for $0.50. Basically they brew the tea, mix something in it, pour over ice, then top with Carnation Condensed Milk and shake it up. Heavenly!

I continue to try new food everyday. and i am never disappointed!!!