The Oh My Lanta

Things end. And they are followed by other beautiful beginnings.
Friends came to end and there were tears. Gossip Girl ended and no one cared (except the few, the proud, the GGs). Friday Night Lights ended and everyone skipped work the next day.

The past few years I have seen many things end, said many goodbyes, and had many "first days" on/in a new job, home, and community group. For Christians, these are Gospel Goodbyes: The leaving of a place so loved and held close to your heart, the only solace in leaving it is that one day you will see the people and the glorified place again--redeemed and rejoicing. So, this is a Gospel Goodbye.

Before I get way too sappy, I have just a few things to say about my year at the Juniper Tree.

1. The Juniper Tree Dolphin Bay is a reflection of Heaven seen in a very dim mirror. A moment I will never forget is sitting at the head of the table for Thanksgiving dinner. Looking down the table, pulling my eyes off the scrumptious turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce, I saw the faces of strangers interacting as the family of God--laughter and warm smiles intermingled amongst the onset of turkey coma and slouched bodies in chairs. It was pretty stinkin' awesome. (And I got to share 12 pumpkin pies with this family).

2. God was so sweet to me. The many moments I felt alone and bored in my tiny village at night, God was so intimate with me. He spoke softly to me--the kind of speech reserved only for a lover. He glorified Himself, as he does so well, in my weakest moments (and there were many). At the exact moment I needed him and finally postured myself towards him, He greeted me with open arms and the Spirit led me to sweet repentance and communion.

3. Stories were shared over meals and cups of tea about the movement of the Spirit in villages and communities across Asia that resulted in entire villages becoming followers of Christ. Stories about people from Afghanistan to Sri Lanka to Inner Mongolia praising God in their own tongue and their own way. Stories from missionaries who were blessed to use their own unique gifts such as coaching wrestling or brewing a super good cup of coffee to lead others to Christ. Stories from parents of adopted children that took four years to become legally theirs while I watched these said children run around the garden of the Juniper Tree. There were so many stories, so many times I teared up or cried, and so many moments that I couldn't do anything but laugh, smile, and say "Praise God. Thank you, Jesus!"

4.  Loneliness was real working at the JTDB as a single woman. Despite being surrounded by over 90 guests at times, I felt very alone come sundown because the community at the guesthouse exists mainly during meal times. However, I was able to truly connect with about 20 individuals, couples, and families throughout my year there that I will hopefully keep in touch with and definifitely pray for. But, for the most part, it was work and then alone time, and it was hard. At the beginning, I thought it would be nice to have so much time to myself to do whatever I wanted to do. Then, I realized I'm a sinner saved by grace and that so much alone time got to be a battle for righteousness, thus forcing myself to hang out with neighbors or watch sermons when all my flesh wanted to do was watch the next episode of the Bachelorette. I didn't come to Thailand to watch the Bachelorette. I came to be with its people and love them as I am loved by Christ.

5. My neighbors were the BOMBDOTCOM. What a sweet gift this family was and how grateful I am to the Lord for pushing me to open myself up to them and for their generosity and love in return. At times, they were the people that kept me going. They held me when I cried over falling off my first motorbike, laughed with me every single day over virtually nothing, and let me hold their beautiful babies as they grew to be running tikes with diva personalities. I had the immense joy of praying over them and will continue to do so, hoping in Jesus that they will come to know him as Lord and Savior.

6. My coworkers were all unique members of the body of Christ with many different views on end times, America (haha!), Jesus as Lover, and sin. These people sharpened me and continually turned my eyes toward the Day, as only the sweetest community does.




That was some of my life this past year--oh how hard it is to sum up an entire year in a post that people will actually read. I am sitting in a Starbucks in Flower Mound, Texas, trying to connect my experiences in Thailand with my heart and mind now, and it's really difficult. Being home one week has been overwhelming at times and yet, normal, at others. Prayer is genuinely the only thing that is getting me from one day to the next--keeping me accountable to those I said goodbye to in Thailand and present with those here in the States for this season. I want to say a BIG THANK YOU to all who prayed for me, sent good wishes my way, or supported me financially, with gifts, or otherwise. You have no idea what it meant to receive any note, gift, or contribution--no matter the size.

NOW FOR THE MOST EXCITING INFORMATION OF THE WHOLE POST...HOPE Y'ALL HAVE HELD ON!!! (Keep in mind, this is a very fluid "plan," as any international move/job is).
I am beyond excited to say I am moving back to Bangkok, Thailand, in January 2015 to help the Praise family--a Christian Thai family I met three years ago during my first trip to Thailand--begin an awesome Christian center as a way to reach the people of Bangkok with the Gospel. Over many years, this center will encompass a coffeehouse/cafe, church, small guesthouse, cooking school, worship music academy, English camp, and hip hang out space, among many other visions the Lord has given this family. Unlike the Juniper Tree, this place is being created from the ground up, meaning all the direction, funding, and recruitment will be coming from us and those God calls to invest in this center. It is truly an exciting opportunity and one that I believe the Lord has called me to, undoubtedly. It perfectly combines my love for administration, hospitality, love of Thai people, and a desire to see the Kingdom come to Earth! Managing the center, with a team God calls over the next year, is somewhat terrifying because it requires all the faith the Lord can give me. It will require me doing things so big and crazy and out of my comfort zone that only a very big God could pull this off and keep Himself, His love, and grace, as the foundation and motivation. If you would like to hear more about this opportunity, I will be sending out informational letters and would love to discuss the vision with anyone who will listen!! I currently do not have a way to make donations to this vision tax-deductible (we don't have a foundation based in America), so, if you know anyone who can help with this--give me a shout!!



Prayer requests at this time:

* I get my wisdom teeth out on Friday and am totally freaking out. If you know me at all, you will understand this. So, pray for a healthy, speedy operation and recovery, as well as peace throughout.

* Discipline to process my year and input some action steps into my spiritual life going forward.

* A smooth transition into life in Austin, Texas, beginning in September (finding housing, securing a job, church group, etc).

* Safety as I travel around the States to see friends and family this next month.

* Continued joy and determination to look toward next year with expectation and a persevering commitment to its healthy foundation through prayer, supporters, and organization.

* People to surround and support me throughout my potentially long-term journey in Thailand beginning in 2015.



Y'ALL. This last year and my next steps are, indeed, deserving of an "Oh my lanta!' So, all together now... OH MY LANTA! and thank you, sweet Jesus.

The One Before "The Oh My Lanta"

May: When guests are few and it's HOT!!
May: When time with neighbors is sweet and spring cleaning is in full swing.
May: When news outlets all over the world make Thailand look like the end of said world.
May: When God reminds me of the blessings I have and my purpose in life to reflect His name.
May: When I realize I only have a little over a month in my tranquil village by the beach and my stomach does flips because that is ridiculous and cannot be true.

Alas, it is true. WHAT! No.

This is not the last post from Thailand--the post where I start getting beyond emotional about leaving the babies, puppies, women, and fishermen that have made my last year sneakily amazing. No, this is the post before that post, letting those that have prayed for me and wished good things on my behalf know that my time at the Juniper Tree Dolphin Bay is coming to an end.

I leave for the States on July 8. If you have thought about supporting me financially, I welcome these gifts (as they are still needed) but ask that they be sent by the middle of June in order to receive them and use them while I am still on mission in Thailand. I can't wait to catch up with ALL of my family and friends while I'm home.  But, there is so many tearful goodbyes to say before that time. YIKES! What a difference God can make in one year.

Look for that SUPER emotional post coming in a month or so. It will hopefully contain some exciting news about my next step in life!! Until then, pray for me and my goodbyes, the state of Thailand's political system, and the guests at the Juniper Tree to be refreshed to do their work.

Unstoppable Rivers

¹⁷When the poor and needy seek water,

    and there is none,
    and their tongue is parched with thirst,
I the Lord will answer them;
    I the God of Israel will not forsake them.
¹⁸ I will open rivers on the bare heights,
    and fountains in the midst of the valleys.
I will make the wilderness a pool of water,
    and the dry land springs of water.
¹⁹ I will put in the wilderness the cedar,
    the acacia, the myrtle, and the olive.
I will set in the desert the cypress,
    the plane and the pine together,
²⁰ that they may see and know,
    may consider and understand together,
that the hand of the Lord has done this,
    the Holy One of Israel has created it.

Isaiah 41:17-20

 

Every night I crawl into bed, turn on my Christmas lights over my bed and think on the day, just before my head starts swirling with dreams, there is a war. A war between my flesh and my faith in the Creator. I can choose in these few lasting moments before the day comes to a close to trust Him with tomorrow and next year or succumb to the worrisome killer of faith that is my flesh. God lets nothing slip by, leaves nothing half-done, and brings nothing in our path he has not already designed a way over, through, around, or out of. He's just that BIG and that GOOD and that UNSTOPPABLE.

 

Before your eyes close tonight and tomorrow and next week, choose to trust him. You will wake up, God-willing, with the steadfastness of his love to get up, walk on, and keep believing that He's already won the war. He's victorious and in some crazy way, we can be, too.

 



The Good For the Greatest

I read an article this morning that prompted me to finally sit down and write an entire blog post. Yes, I know, it's been almost 4 months so this article must have been something, huh? I guess, but really this has been on my heart for a while. The idea of trading the Good (in the here and now) for the Greatest (now and forever).

Living relatively alone in the midst of hundreds of people still brings me ample time to think on my past and my future. I realize the best things in my life, spiritual or other wise, have come from giving up what I (and the majority of the world) considered to be the Good--romantic relationships, money, nights out, entertainment, security, in-person friendship and the comfort of my best friends, the opportunity to eat healthy and workout in a gym. Even those things that the Christian world calls dear-- discipleship, a church that feeds my soul, accountability, Christian roommates, organized service opportunities, sharing a meal with those who love you and call you friend. As well as the countless sins that entrap you to enjoy the Good while the Greatest remains 30 yards down the field, seemingly never to be grasped or to be sought after next week, next month, next year. All this Good, I have tearjerkingly, painstakingly, not-so-effectively-most-of-the-time been trading for the Greatest--sweet time with my Savior, sometimes via podcast or a good book and sometimes just sitting and listening. GOSH how hard this is when my Twitter and Instagram feeds live within an arm's reach at all times. And then there's been those times lately instead of living in my little room and watching countless hours of some terrible TV show, I choose to sit with my neighbors even though at times I want to scream because I am so frustrated at our language barrier. This sacrifice isn't groundbreaking, it's what I signed up for. It's being a present member of this relationship to God I committed to about 13 years ago. Just like an absent father, an over-indulgent wife, or a technologically-crazed teenager, I have been in this relationship without really committing much to it. The Good relationships come with quick satisfaction and menial sacrifice. The Greatest relationships come with the most sacrifices and long-lasting rewards.

Thank you to those who have stood along my path to sitting here in Thailand, whether you were cheering me on, picking me back up, or kicking my butt at times. God is renewing bodies and families here at the Juniper Tree, and he is renewing my heart daily to love him better. It's stinkin' hard work and I really don't always enjoy it, especially in the quiet hours of the evening, but it's the Greatest. This life is the Greatest. He is the Greatest.

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P.S. Update: Thank you for supporting me financially and through prayer. I have been blown away by God's provision for me through your donations and quality time in prayer. The Juniper Tree has gone from crazy packed busy to less busy to busy again over the past 4 months. My parents have joined me in Asia for 2 weeks which was such a blessing and now my best friend is coming in a week or so. I only have about 3 months left at the Juniper Tree, which is ridiculously crazy. Looking forward to finishing strong!

Headlines and Holidays

Merry Christmas Y'all!!

I can't believe it's that time of the year again and that 2013 is almost over. There is something magical about the world setting a stage decorated with lights, singing, and good food, that we get to bring the news of the Living King out onto. It's a grand production and I love this time of year!

As the busy season begins in two days, guests of the Juniper Tree have been e-mailing a lot about the protesting that is happening in Bangkok, wondering if their families should still come to spend their holiday breaks here. At first, I thought it was really silly of these people to be making a big fuss over people standing in a street blowing whistles almost 250 kilometers from where they will be staying, but then I thought about where they are getting their intel. Most people get their news from online sources such as Twitter or CNN or maybe even their local TV station. I, too, have been following these sources and have thought the protesting has been interesting, but in no way have I felt even close to being in danger. (I have heard too many stories about friends living in other parts of the world where their lives are in danger all the time to worry about my safety in an event happening so far from where I am. I'm not saying this time in Thai politics is not important and that the government does not need a total overhaul of its policies and alliances, and maybe these protests and new election will bring some real change to Thailand, but the gravity of the situation is not at the point where we need to be worried about being in danger driving in/out of Bangkok. Back to the news...) My reasoning for not worrying about these protests is because I have more accurate news sources--friends on the ground in Bangkok, locals who have lived here their entire lives spanning multiple government leaders, and knowledge about Thai politics that your average CNN reader would not. So, to judge these worried families on the basis of their reading the international headlines was wrong, and my replies to them have been filled with much grace and soothing language.

Thinking deeper about my interaction with these guests, I began asking myself if I do not believe more headlines than I should. Spending even an hour perusing the news and socialite sources on the internet will not do good for one's self-esteem, thought life, and hope for the future. I can say that I have been guilty of believing the headlines instead of the One who not only has the more accurate sources, but IS the MOST accurate source. God gave us His word to live by and His son to bring us and others hope for the future. I hope that this Christmas I can read headlines through the eyes of God, putting all my trust in His plan and His care for His creation.

I am super thankful for the gift of Jesus. He is the BEST.

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I will now be in Thailand until the end of July 2014! In order to continue life here for six more months than originally planned, I need to raise $3500. There is no date the money has to be in by, and I have total faith the Lord will provide because it is him who called me. Now, there is a way to give online! I was just informed by my financial director, if you would like to give via credit card you can do so:

1. Go to www.thaichristianfoundation.org
2. Under the "Support" tab, click "Donate".
3. Click on the first button "Donate Now" which is linked to the "Network for Good" site. In the "I want my donation to be dedicated:" box, put "Summer Holeman."
4. That's it!

Thank you for keeping up with my time over here. I really do feel like it has just begun. May God bring us so much joy and reflection in the next few weeks!

A Time Commitment & A Gold Jacuzzi Tub

Walking up the stairs to my room tonight, post-dinner coffee in hand, I was happy. I am happy.

Today burned beautiful images into my mind. Some images invoked dreams wanting to be fulfilled, some pure thankfulness to the Father for witnessing them, others laughter and giddiness at the ridiculous goodness of my God. Waking up this morning, I thought today was going to be average, maybe even sub-par. God had a different day planned for me, and I liked to think I walked right into it.

Thank you to all who prayed for the conversation I was having with the former Director of the Board of Trustees for the Juniper Tree. He was the first person I was put in contact with at the Juniper Tree, and he was ultimately the one who invited me into this large family. After e-mailing back and forth for five months prior to flying to Thailand, it was nice to put a face and a full personality to the e-mails. Come to find out, this man and his wife are huge pillars of the faith, in Thailand and around the world. They have been missionaries in rural Thailand for over 50 years, now currently back home in England. They are in their 80s with more stories than time to tell them and humor to boot. I fell quickly, especially when I saw them sitting outside their cottage this afternoon, holding hands, while watching the kids playing in the pool and the sea in the distance. Yes, please.

I spent some time speaking with them this afternoon about my time commitment at the Juniper Tree. I told them I was really having a wonderful time and they said there was nothing but good reports of me at the JT. Ultimately, he said the offer was open-ended to stay here and would need about 3-month's notice if I wanted to leave. I told him I'd be here for a year. So, folks, there you have it. I will be Thailand, at least, until August. As soon as I walked back to the office after they prayed over me and joked about finding me a husband soon so I would stay for 15 years (I said "Where do I sign?" haha), I felt so much peace and joy. I felt like something was lifted in my heart; a distance faded between me and my surroundings. I can now make this place home and not be worried about when I'm leaving, but really dig in here. I can decorate my room more and meet the staff's families. I can expect visitors (seriously, come on over!) and be more emotionally available to the community of Dolphin Bay. I can also stop putting so much pressure on myself to learn Thai, but just let it come.

God has plans for me in Thailand. I've known this. Here's to resting in them!

Onto other beauty of the day--

We have this family who has been with us for the past five days, enjoying their rest but ultimately waiting for their cousins to meet them in Thailand. Today, they came. IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL TO SEE THEM REUNITED. I seriously almost cried (surprise). These families work in two very different places in Asia--one in one of the most populated cities in the world and the other in an almost unreachable land in the middle of the Pacific. They had not seen each other for six years, until today. I was introduced to the parents of the newly-arrived family just as I came up to my room and they were loudly joking and hugging and, clearly, family. My heart was so full from that image of their arrival! Moments like that make my being here more than worth it!

Hearing stories from the former Board Director and his wife at meal time has been a ridiculous testament to God's plan for his Kingdom and his care for his workers. Giving the morning devotion on Friday, he compared himself to the apostle Paul, mainly because of 1 Corinthians 1:16. No, no, not for Paul's greatness as an apostle, but because of his clear lack of memory in that passage. The other reason he believes himself to be like the apostle was communicated tonight at the dinner table. Once when preaching to a Thai Presbyterian church in Hollywood many years ago, he was greeted by a man after the service. The man said, "You look tired. Are you tired?" He said, "Well, yes, actually I am," to which the man replied, "Come and take a rest in Las Vegas. I'll take care of everything." (Many things about that sentence would have produced some serious doubt in me, but I guess given the times and who was speaking, the former Board Director had no scruples.) The man gave him his car to drive to Vegas, while the man took his own jet (clue #1 something big is gonna happen). Former Board Director drove to the meeting point--MGM Grand Hotel--and walked into the lobby with his oldest son in tow. The man greeted him immediately and introduced the manager of the MGM Hotel to him, who escorted him up to the PRESIDENTIAL SUITE! The man said that this was all his for five days, all expenses paid. (There was a pure gold jacuzzi tub.) The next morning, they were having breakfast with the man in their suite with a French string quartet serenading them, when the man asked why his wife wasn't with him. Former Board Director replied that she was in England with the rest of their children. The man immediately picked up the phone, called Board Director's house in England, and got them all plane tickets to come and join them. After spending the rest of the week in the suite with his entire family, they went off to their next speaking engagement in Korea and then on to Thailand, feeling quite refreshed. (It was that gold tub!! haha). Come to find out, the mysterious and giving man was a Thai surgeon who had come to America with pennies and ended up owning his own medical hospital in L.A. A few years prior to this story, the surgeon was brought to the Penthouse at the MGM to meet the owner of the property who was unable to walk and was confined to a wheelchair. The surgeon ended up doing extensive surgery and physical therapy with the owner, and instead of payment for getting him walking again, the owner of the MGM said, "As long as you live, your family and friends will always have a place here at the MGM, all expenses paid."

So, former Board Director compared himself to Paul in that he had learned to be abased and how to abound. Abound, indeed.

Now, beside the utter coolness of the luxury and splendor of staying in a presidential suite, this story warmed my heart at the generosity of His people and the utter care the Father has for His children. So much giving was seen in this story. I felt so thankful that the LORD has given me the opportunity to greet workers who are working so hard for Him and are SO tired and in need of rest. I get to greet them in their exhaustion and welcome them to a space for rest. I get to be in the front row to see the LORD meet them and send them off once again, refreshed and reminded of His call. Very cool.

I also got to be encouraged by a former JT manager on Skype today. It was, indeed, a beautiful day. Thanks, God, for showing me you are the ultimate provider for your children.

In committing to more time here, I will be contacting some of you in the next months to prayerfully consider giving more to my journey here. If you would like to give to my time in Thailand, please contact me at summerlynnholeman@gmail.com to find out more details! I have faith that God will provide. How could I not after the stories of reunion and renewal today?!?

To Be Known

To be known by another human is a good thing. To be known by God is great thing. One is a conquest, the other a promise.

While getting to meet so many humans over the past three months, yet really knowing no one, a great desire to be known once more has been planted in my soul. Twenty-six guests arrived at JT yesterday, some were neighbors and already knew each other and some were strangers. Last night as I got up from the dinner table to head back to my room and watch TV, I was shocked that no one else was getting up. Even when the mosquitoes came out in full force, families stayed. Strangers began to become friends. It was awesome.

Today was my day off, and per usual on my day off, I woke up super early. There is something about not having to be anywhere on my day off that shoots my body out of bed. It wants to get started doing nothing. Ha! Awkwardly coming to breakfast in my casual clothes, I sat down next to an American family living in India. They were so interested in getting to know me, and if you know me at all, I love getting to know people and talking about my life and how God has brought me to certain seasons in it. I talked and I talked and I talked. The kids were asking me all sorts of questions and sharing about their life in India. I talked so much, I hadn't taken more than four bites of my breakfast by the time the staff started clearing tables. It was awesome.

Shortly after, everyone was gathering at the pool, and I decided to join. Kids were screaming and sliding down the water slide. Dads were competing in some type of water resistance training. Moms were gabbing. I was in the middle of it all. Literally, I was standing in the middle of the shallow end, holding someone's daughter, and talking to the moms while laughing at the dads proving themselves with each dive. We had water relays, complete with cheering each other by name and squealing and lots of water swallowed. There was conversations about the beginning of romances that turned into marriages that turned into overseas missions. About birth control and God's sense of humor. About maturity and prayer and listening to God's voice. Again, people were sharing their lives, rubbing souls together, and becoming more than acquaintances. It was a pool party, and it was awesome.

My afternoon was spent with the usual bakery, book, and buying peanut butter. On the way home, as soon as I got out of the city, traffic got terrible. Usually on the main road from JT to the city, there will be very little traffic hiccups. Your occasional semi turning off the road that backs things up for half a minute or so, given that the road is one lane each way, but other than that, it flows quickly. Everyone usually passes the slow moving food carts and cars. But this was different, and I knew it after about a minute of idling. People coming the opposite direction were covering their mouths and looking back in the direction they had come. Something was wrong. I had seen an ambulance right when I was leaving the city, headed in, and now I knew why. I crept past the scene. All I saw was a police car parked in the middle of the road, a skinny woman in regular clothes directing traffic, by-standers staring, and a cop with a household broom sweeping red water into a ditch off the road. The entire road was covered in watered-down blood. My heart skipped a beat as I was waved through by this citizen-turned-police woman. I was playing Justin Bieber in the car as I left the city, and now somehow listening to a pubescent boy wail about his relationship conquests just didn't seem appropriate anymore. I turned on Needtobreathe's "Slumber" and kept rolling the scene over in my mind. Was that person gonna make it? Who was it? Were they known by other humans?

To be faced with the beauty of relationships beginning and the horror of sudden tragedy in the span of a few hours brought me to God with a lot of chatter. He said, "You're known." He knows me, oh so intimately. He knows that person in the wreck on the road. He knows the children I held in the pool. He knows the moms and dads serving Him in far away lands. He knows you, like really knows you. I gotta keep talking to him. I gotta know him more. He is awesome.